When I was young, I was told to never show my tears. Our society believes tears are a sign of weakness, particularly for the men. I have witnessed however many resilient people crying. Most recently, basketball legend Michael Jordan had cried at the memorial speech for Kobe Bryant. Besides sparking more memes, I thought perhaps crying is actually a healthy habit we all should promote and not shun away from. I thus dug deeper into finding out whether crying openly is more beneficial than holding the tears back.
Medical research suggests that it is highly beneficial to let the tears flow naturally. Crying is a natural response that helps us to regulate our own emotions. Crying releases ‘feel good’ hormones such as oxytocin and endorphins and activates the parasympathetic nervous system which helps our body to digest and rest. Additionally, crying is considered an attachment behavior, i.e. it encourages supportive and empathetic behavior from family and friends.
When does crying become unhealthy?
There is no official guideline on how much crying is too much. However, if you feel you are crying too much, it may be a sign of depression or anxiety and you should seek help. You should also seek help if you are crying so frequently that it affects your day-to-day activities or if you cry for no apparent reason.
Crying at the workplace
People have found that crying openly at the workplace is inappropriate as it suggests weakness. Although you wish to hold back the tears, what you should not do is ignore your emotions. Suppressing negative emotions actually serve to amplify them and doing so has a negative impact on your health. Repressive coping has been linked to heart disease, hypertension, diabetes and mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety. What you should do instead is to find a private area to take a minute to cry. Alternatively, try out other stress relief techniques and see which one work for you. Remember, crying is not the only way for you to confront your grief.
Alternative methods to destress
- Aerobic exercise: Aerobic exercise such as running or swimming helps to reduce the levels of the body’s stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also promotes the production of endorphins which helps to relieve pain and elevate your mood.
- Breathing exercises: When we are nervous, we tend to take several shallow breaths. Taking slow, deep breaths activates our parasympathetic nervous system which calms our body down, lowering our heart rate and blood pressure. Taking deeper breaths also triggers the release of “feel good” endorphins that elevates our mood and relieves pain.
- Express gratitude: The glass can be either half empty or half full. Gratitude helps us recognize and cherish the good things in our lives. It helps us to put our circumstances into perspective, making it more manageable.
- Write it down: When you are feeling overwhelmed, take the time to write down what happened and how are you feeling. Journaling helps us to identify and accept the emotions we are experiencing, thereby making it easier to cope with those emotions.
- Spend time with friends and family: We humans are at our core social creatures. Spending time with our close friends and family helps strengthen the sense of connectedness that makes us feel more empowered. We can also confide in our friends/ family about our experiences to share the emotional burden.