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Becoming by Michelle Obama is a book I picked up recently, and I breezed through its pages. An inspiring and heartfelt autobiography which touched on race, gender, career, family and so much more. If you haven’t read the book, I would highly recommend you to. But the spotlight today is not on the former First lady of the United States. Rather it is on her husband and former President of the United States Barack Hussein Obama II.
I remember when Obama was first elected president back in 2008, the whole world shook in surprise. The first African-American President. But as I read more about him, it was hardly a surprise. Throughout his entire life, he had set many firsts, subverting expectations and breaking stereotypes. A man of exceptional character looking constantly to uplift communities and make America a better place.
Here are 4 lessons we can learn from him:
The power of being genuine
I was blown away by the speech Obama gave at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. I wasn’t American and yet I felt a deep sense of patriotism listening to it.
When I thought about what contributed to his charisma, one of the key factors I found was sincerity. He embraces who he is and places it in full display for the world to see.
We all to some degree care what others think. We desire to fit in so we put on a façade. We show desirable parts of ourselves while hiding the “blots” in our past. We are afraid of revealing our true selves to others.
Authenticity however should not be thought of as a weakness, but can actually be leveraged as a strength. In showcasing your true self to others, people with similar experiences can relate to you and are drawn to you. In telling your unique and authentic story, you can stand out. Learn how to be confident yet remain authentic.
“I was raised as an Indonesian child and a Hawaiian child and as a black child and as a white child …And so what I benefited from is a multiplicity of cultures that all fed me.”
Barack Obama
Barrack Obama is an oddball to say the least. Take a look at his childhood. He was born to a white American mother from Kansas and a black Kenyan father who subsequently had divorced. He subsequently had an Indonesian stepfather and spent the ages of 6 to 10 in Indonesia, running through the streets with his newfound friends, catching crickets and hustling odd jobs. He attended Catholic and Muslim schools in Indonesia before returning to Hawaii for schooling, living with his maternal grandparents.
“The self-lives in language”
Poet Elizabeth alexander
To fit in, Obama could’ve hidden his past. With a complex constellation of an identity, Obama struggled to find his place in American society in his youth. Who was he? He found his inexperience and narrow worldview limited his perception of himself, when he was much more than simply the confines of ‘black’ or ‘white’. So, he sought to expand the worldview, travelling to Kenya in search of his father’s bloodlines. He also read widely, perusing the works of James Baldwin, Ralph Ellison, Langston Hughes, Richard Wright and W.E.B Du Bois. He would ruminate on the writer’s ideas in an effort to come to terms with his roots find what he truly believed in.
Obama’s authenticity spoke to people. In showcasing his complex cultural roots and background, Americans hailing from diverse backgrounds realized they shared commonalities. His sincerity showed through his conviction and openness as he spoke. It helped unite an America that was becoming increasingly divisive and fragmented at the 2008 elections.
In being authentic, you become more confident and persuasive as a person. Your words hold more weight. You feel freer to do the things you love. Broaden your worldview through media and immerse yourself in various experiences and issues that interest you. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. In revealing ourselves, we find common ground with others and establish a deeper connection.
Relentless optimism is needed for change
In her book Becoming, Michelle Obama had painted a very descriptive picture of her husband. One word she frequently associated with him was optimism. As a community organizer in Chicago, he inspired marginalized segments of the populations to rally together to promote change. To become an organized grassroots movement. Some were skeptical and others did not open up to him. Projects failed. But that did not stop him from continuing. He believed in a brighter future, which lent conviction to his words. His optimism was contagious and people soon began to rally behind him and his cause. It was not without grounds. Obama regularly sought counsel from different people and read widely to keep perspective. Read how to discover your Ikigai, your purpose in life.
Obama had to overcome a whole lot of challenges throughout his political career. Problems were complex and multifaceted. There were a lot of cynics eager to criticize and he faced a lot of opposition. He viewed all these through a prism of relentless optimism, believing that the country could set aside hatred and become united. He was not disheartened by setbacks, believing that change is never straightforward. For every two steps forward you take a step back. It is only through the accumulation of small successes made by individuals across generations can significant change be made.
Optimism is not denial. It requires us to embrace the truth in front of us but believe in a silver lining. Being relentlessly optimistic in the face of adversity and naysayers lends us the strength to carry on, to fight for a cause we believe in. It helps us rally people to your cause, if you do not believe in your cause, who will?
Strive for balance
“I will not remember any bill I passed or any big crowds or the inauguration, I will be thinking about holding hands with my daughters and seeing them laugh. That is going to be the thing that lasts, the thing that sticks. The unbounded love I feel for them.”
Barack Obama
The Obamas were on a Christmas vacation in Hawaii, spending time with Obama’s maternal grandmother Toot. Obama was the senator Illinois then. Suddenly a call came from Barack’s colleague at the senate. He had to make a appear at Springfield to partake in a decision in passing a gun law regulation. A firm believer in gun control, Obama had worked hard in the months prior to the decision. His vote could make a big difference in the results. If he did not show up, it could affect his run for congress. He had to book a flight immediately and leave next morning. Their vacation plan had to be cut short.
However, Obama’s daughter, young Malia had developed a fever from an ear infection. The situation was not good at all. Instead of leaving her wife Michelle to care for her all by herself, he decided to stay in Hawaii. Although he wanted the bill to be passed, he knew his family needed him right now.
We can all be caught up by the hustle and bustle of life, engrossed in our work and pursuits. In the midst of this, we might forget about balance. The result? Strained relationships, ailing health and a life full of regrets.
Even though Obama was busy throughout his political career, he always sought for balance. Family was important to him and he never forgot about that. Despite swamped with work as President, Obama wrapped things up at 6.30pm to keep one of his most important appointments of his day: dinner with his family.
Obama sought to maintain his health, giving him the energy to run the country. He is known for waking up early in the morning to fit in early morning workouts, alternating between intense cardio and resistance weight training. He follows a strict diet regimen, avoiding fast food, and instead eating a diet comprising mostly of vegetables, fruits, crackers and wholegrains.
In keeping balance, it allowed Obama to maintain a sense of normalcy and wholeness, enabling him to cope with the psychological pressures that comes with making big decisions as the President. It enabled him to remain calm when the stakes were high and tensions were rising.
Striking balance is incredibly hard. It would never be perfect and at times you have to prioritize. Read how to strike a balance with a minimalist mindset. But it is never about you never having enough time. If it is a priority, you would make time for it. Learn to set boundaries, delegate work and make your work process more efficient. To find out more, 4 hour workweek by Tim Ferris would be a good read.
Listen
“You have to make sure that you keep hearing the voices from the outside.”
Barack Obama in his book A Promised Land
Obama is not only a good orator, but is also a good listener. He made it a point to listen to people. During his presidency, he practiced simple yet effective habit. Every evening, he would read ten letters from ordinary American citizens. It gave him an insight into the perspectives of ordinary folk while he was in the bubble known as the White House. It gave concrete examples to back the figures he was seeing. It provided valuable feedback, highlighting the areas he excelled in and parts he needed to work on.
Listening can be more important than talking. We often can be so engrossed in talking that we ramble on and on, not giving others a chance to speak. Making a point to listen shows that you care. In listening, empathizing and subsequently sharing your own story, we find common ground and build a connection.
The audacity of hope
Although Barrack Obama’s presidency has come to an end, he continues to fight for the causes he believed in. Throughout his life, he has faced opposition and critics and had his fair share of failures. But he maintained an unshakable belief in a better future pushed him to strive on, making dreams become reality. If you wish to read more about his life, I recommend checking out his biographies: Dreams from my father, The Audacity of Hope and most recently, A Promised Land.