We all have been in the pressure cooker, be it attending an interview, taking an exam or dealing with a big project. Stress cannot be completely eliminated. In fact, moderate, manageable amounts of stress can improve alertness and boost memory, boosting our performance. However, far too often, we let stress overwhelm us, severely compromising our performance.
Here are 5 tips on how to manage our stress and strive under pressure:
- Acknowledge how you feel
In the face of pressure, conventional wisdom tells us to think positive, to look for that silver lining even in the darkest of moments. Don’t get me wrong, I like being positive. Forced positivity however does not help but in fact undermines our resilience to deal with problems. It is denying and avoiding the uncomfortable emotions that are part of the human experience. Numerous studies have shown that suppressing feelings can worsen mental health. What we should do during periods of anxiety is to play a role of a good friend and ask ourselves: “ How are you feeling?”
- Be specific in defining your emotions
Emotional granularity is to define the emotions you are experiencing in a specific manner. Research has found people with higher levels of emotional granularity have been found to be better with emotion regulation.They are also more likely to make better decisions under pressure. It is great to acknowledge your emotions but people often describe them rather broadly. Imagine a person said: “ I’m stressed.” A person can say he is stressed in a multitude of scenarios but the actual emotional experience is rather different. When you are stressed ,ask yourself: “ Besides stressed, what are 2 other words I can use to describe my feelings?” It can be words like upset, panicky or furious. It adds a greater degree of nuance to the experience, allowing your brain to come up with specific coping mechanisms to deal with it.
- Detach yourself from the stressful situation
“ A critical human skill — in fact, it is a skill that underpins our ability to empathize, to perspective take — is development of this meta view. This idea that you can feel an emotion, or you can think a thought — ‘I’m so terrible at this thing’ — and yet you can also notice that emotion for what it is, then almost be able to observe it.”
Dr Susuan David – Harvard Medical School Psychologist
We are more than our emotions and should not let them define us. We often think: “I’m stressed”. By doing that, we are essentially defining ourselves based on one emotion, and letting the emotion consume us, developing a tunnel vision that leaves us prone to making poor decisions. What we should do is say “I notice I am feeling stressed”. What this does is instead of being a victim of our stress, we take a step back become a third-party observer. We become calmer and have a wider perspective on the situation, thereby allowing us to make better decisions under pressure.
- Practice self-love
We are often too hard on ourselves, constantly breathing down on our own necks, leaving us with low self-esteem. As we doubt our own abilities, when we face challenges, it inadvertently causes us great stress, causing us to make more mistakes which causes us to be even harsher on ourselves. This results in a never-ending cycle of blame and shame , making us vulnerable to numerous illnesses. Stop. Becoming resilient in the face of stress starts with self-love. When you make a mistake, tell yourself it’s ok and learn from it. Know what is within our control and what is not and do not attempt to control what is out of our reach. Imagine life to be a comedy and we should not take ourselves too seriously.
- Practice coping with stressful situations
“Everything that he does within the course of the game, when he has the ball, it’s the same thing you see him do within his workouts. And he’s meticulous about it. The shot fake, the jab, bouncing the ball, elongating that foot, putting the ball out in front, bringing the other one with him. He’s over-emphasizing everything that he does so that when he gets in the game, it’s second nature to him.”
Former Lakers development Coach J.J Outlaw on Kobe Bryant
We all heard of the saying ‘practice makes perfect’. Put in hard work and you will achieve mastery. The same goes for stress management. Practice performing under stressful situations numerous times until you become totally accustomed. Basketball Legend Kobe Bryant trained harder than anyone else, being the first to arrive at the gym and being the last few to leave. He would practice all the movements needed in a game many times so that in the biggest moments during the game, he knows he will make the shot.
Tiger Woods is one of the greatest golfers of all time. One of the contributing factors is his father and trainer Earl Woods, who placed his son under immense pressure during training sessions to simulate an actual game. Earl would shout during putting drills, swear loudly during backswings and even knocked over Tiger’s golf clubs. By training under stressful situations, Tiger learned to strive under stress.
If you are prepping for an exam, practice questions under time tight scenarios. If you are preparing for an interview, approach your friends and family to ask you difficult questions. If you are practicing to give a speech at an event, practice speaking to different people and visualize yourself speaking to a large crowd. The important thing here is to practice under stress many times such that you learn how to cope and be able to perform well at the actual event.
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